I overheard a woman say, “Girls can be SO catty.”
The woman she was talking to responded, “They ARE, aren’t they!”
It was a lesson my mother taught me. Her point was: “Don’t trust girls, they’re out to hurt you.”
Any message that encompasses all members of a group, as in the global use of “girls”, is blatant stereotyping. Comedians rely on stereotypes for their jokes as do TV sitcoms. TV has elevated the stereotype of catty woman with its Housewives of [insert any number of cities here] programming – women being catty over appearance, men, and any arena where putting someone else down makes them think they look better.
Why do women perpetuate the myth of catty girls? This stereotype isolates us, keeps us from seeking out each other for support. Women aren’t to be trusted, and without support it is easy for women to fall prey into so many traps such as remaining in physically abusive relationships and taking on too large a load of stress.
Women need each other. We understand each other biologically. We understand the demands of child rearing. We are experts in juggling housework, family responsibilities, children, and jobs. And as a result of work overload and our biology we suffer from similar ailments both physical and mental.
Over the course of history and across many cultures woman have worked together in the kitchen, in the house, in factories. Today, however, in parts of America and other Western countries women are isolated from each other. Not only in our homes but also in our thinking, because girls, after all, are catty.
This year I discovered how important other women are to my psychological well-being which also affects my physical health. I joined a woman’s circle. We were strangers when we first got together. We weren’t colleagues at work. We didn’t frequent the same places during the week. So we didn’t have a concern what we learned about each other would be used against us at work, school, or a house of worship.
The meetings have become a time for laughter, sometimes tears, and almost always food and always food. It’s a time for us to grow as women. We are women of different faiths, different races, and different ages. We have found sisterhood in a place of safety. At first we needed women who didn’t come with preset ideas about us. We came to a group who didn’t know us, but were willing to listen and learn. It was a place to be ourselves. Now we are sisters. We leave each meeting knowing someone has our backs.
And can you imagine. We went on a weekend get-away to celebrate our first anniversary. Sixteen women under one roof. There was no yelling, pushing or name calling. There was a lot of laughing, talking and FOOD.
So if you ask me I’d say women are more like dogs than cats. We’re loyal. We’re willing to stay by another’s side when things get tough. We’re happy to sit, to listen, and to speak when asked. We enjoy praise, treats, and companionship. And, of course, we enjoy a treat now and then. Many of us prefer CHOCOLATE.
1 Comment
January 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Thanks for the article Pamela. I love connecting withing my women’s groups where I also see a beautiful mix of women from all backgrounds. I thoroughly enjoy the conversation and there is no backbiting or name calling, only mutual respect.
We do need to celebrate and publicize that much more than happens now. We’re working on the second volume of Movies About Women now and it seems that more films than not have to have the drama of the cutting remarks, stinging jibes and catty attitude. I really have to search to find ones that portray us as we strive to be – open, caring, nurturing and showing love and support for our fellow women.
I wish you a lot of success with your women’s circle. May it prosper and expand to envelope more women in your community.
Live and Love in JOY…..and watch only GREAT movies…..S>